Some Beneficial Points Taken from A Small Risaalah Titled: ‘The Characteristics of the Pious Wife’ Written By Shaikh Abdur-Razzaaq Bin Abdul Muhsin Al-Badr (may Allaah preserve both the father and his son)
After praising Allaah and sending the peace and blessings of Allaah upon the Prophet, his family and companions, Shaikh Abdur-Razzaaq (hafidha-hullaah) stated:
To proceed:
Indeed, the subject matter of this Risaalah, whose title is ‘The Characteristics Of The Pious Wife’ is not speech and an address specifically (directed) at a young woman who has consented to marriage and is desirous of acquainting herself with the characteristics of a wife, in order to furnish and prepare herself in fulfilling, accomplishing and perfecting these (characteristics)
It is not also speech and an address specifically (directed) at a married woman who wishes for those characteristics of a pious wife, in order to observe and implement them in her life; just as it is not speech and an address specifically (directed) at the woman who has deficiencies, in order to rectify that which she has of deficiencies, and as a reminder of such deficiencies in order that she is made aware of its affair alongside her precious marriage life; rather it is speech, an address and a reminder beyond all of that.
It is a reminder to the father who wishes for his daughters and those under his care to (be given) a good nurturing and an honourable life, and to enter into marriage life with what is in agreement to that which Allaah and His Messenger intend to (be the purpose) of marriage; and that this Risaalah becomes an aid for him in reminding his (daughters and those under his care) of those precise legislated Islamic regulations and qualities, which a young woman is to be nurtured upon.
And this Risaalah is a reminder to the mother. She is the shepherd in her house and the one with responsibility over her house, and in giving directions to her daughters. Many daughters are brought up with various mannerisms and characteristics acquired from the mother.
This Risaalah is also a reminder to the callers to (Islaam) to give concern and importance to this affair, and to hasten in spreading these virtuous characteristics, praiseworthy manners and blessed endowments, so that they may become qualities preserved in daughters and the women in a society of Imaan and in the houses of the believers.
Particularly this age we live in; (it is an age) in which the woman is attacked; an attack that has not taken place (against) her in the history of the previous ages, taking into consideration the numerous publications, the many channels and numerous ways designed to ruin the chastity, nobility, perfection, decoration, adornment, Imaan, manners and (distinguished virtuous qualities) of the woman.
Indeed in the past it was not possible for (those) corrupt calls, (those) desires guided by personal interests and (those) wrong ideas to reach the woman, except through limited channels; either (through) an evil companion or similar to that, and thus she is made to have contact with some of the evil characteristics/qualities.
As for today, the woman is made to have contact with all the filth, vile and corrupt (affairs) of the world, whilst she in the innermost part of her bedroom, without leaving her house. The woman sits in the innermost part of her bedroom in front of a screen or the internet, or she is (made to have contact) with some of the lowly magazines/newspapers, and thus her intellect, thoughts and heart are infiltrated with every corruption and evil.
Therefore, she is in need of being righteous, chaste, committed and obedient to Allaah; (in order) to prevent herself from the passageways of evil, the means to evil and the doors to corruption.
The woman is also a great responsibility upon the one whom Allaah has placed in charge over her affairs. It is a great affair in need of (being given) profound importance and considerable attention.
Firstly that which I shall begin with is what has come in soorah An-Nisaa, with regards to the mention of the characteristics of the pious wife. Allaah (Tabaaraka-Wata-aalaa) said:
‘Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient to Allaah and to their husbands, and guard in the husband’s absence what Allaah orders them to guard’
As for her relationship with her Lord, this is with regards to the statement of Allaah: ‘Devoutly obedient’
And devout obedience is to be diligent upon obedience to Allaah, being preserved upon worship of Allaah, adhering to obedience to Allaah, and being attentive to the Islamic duties and obligations of the religion and not neglecting and ignoring them. All of this falls under the statement of Allaah: ‘Devoutly obedient’
On the other hand, with regards to the statement of Allaah: ‘And guard in the husband’s absence what Allaah orders them to guard’ That is guarding the rights of her husband and master in his absence and likewise in speech; she guards him with regards to his wealth, his bed, his rights and obligations.
And this (action/deed) that occurs from her of guarding (her husband) is (carried out) by the Tawfeeq of Allaah, His facilitation, Aid and Guidance; and that is why He (Allaah) said: ‘And guard in the husband’s absence what Allaah orders them to guard’
Indeed the affair (i.e. righteousness of the woman) is neither attached to it being worthy of (taking place), nor through proficiency, brightness or smartness, rather it is through the Tawfeeq of Allaah, His Guidance and Facilitation.
This reminds us of that which I mentioned a little while ago, that righteousness and guidance are (attained) through the Tawfeeq of Allaah, His Facilitation, His Aid and Him making it easily (obtained). And included in the statement of Allaah: ‘devoutly Obedient’ is the woman’s preservation of the Islamic duties and the obligations of the religion.
There is a hadeeth of the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) with regards to this, and it is what has been collected by Ibn Hibbaan in his saheeh from the hadeeth of Abu Hurairah (radiyallaahu-anhu) that the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said:
‘If the woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, guards her chastity and obeys her husband, she will enter paradise from any of its doors she wishes’
Imaam Ahmad narrates in his musnad from the hadith of Abdur-Rahmaan Bin Awf (radiyallaahu-anhu) that Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said:
‘If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts the month of Ramadaan, guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter paradise through any of its doors that you wish’
Therefore congratulations to the Muslim woman with regards to this noble promise and ample favour and goodness, which Allaah has promised her. (They are) these four deeds which can be counted on the fingers of one hand and not two. If she guards these four deeds, it would be said to her on yaumul qiyaamah: ‘Enter paradise through any of its doors that you wish’
And is it not the reality with regards to the woman who is sincere to herself that she (would) concern herself with these characteristics, and (would) give importance to such endowments and is diligent in fulfilling these duties?; Guarding her five daily prayers, guarding her fasting the month of ramadaan, guarding her chastity and the rights of her husband, in order that she may attain this blessed promise and ample goodness, and so that it is said to her on yaumul qiyaamah: ‘Enter Paradise through any of its doors that you wish’
Indeed the foundation of righteousness in the woman and her being righteous in the (presence of her Lord) is attached to the perfection of her obedience, her seeking to get close to (Allaah) and being diligent upon worship of (Allaah). This righteousness and steadfastness is the secret behind her happiness; it is the secret behind her prosperity and success in her entire life, as it relates to her marriage life, the uprightness of her children and progeny, and her living a blessed salubrious life.
And for this reason it is emphasized for the one who wishes good for his/her soul; and it is emphasized for those in charge of the affairs, who wish for goodness for their daughters, that they bring up their daughters upon righteousness and steadfastness; upon guarding the acts of worship and paying attention to the prescribed duties of Islaam, especially the five daily prayers and the fasting of the month of Ramadan; and being distant from everything that bears (a bad) influence upon the chastity and nobility of the woman; and it is what has been transmitted in this hadeeth that ‘She guards her chastity’
And there are many amongst the women who are orientated towards giving importance to outward appearance/fashion when consenting to marriage. She is orientated towards the appearance/fashion of (other) daughters of her social class and those similar to her; (saying) such and such did; (or) in the marriage of such and such they did it like this. She is orientated by her views towards such considerations and thus bringing about extravagance, self indulgence, an increase in overspending and waste of wealth in addition to what may also occur of evil and forbidden affairs.
This starting point and introduction to marriage is the cause of a decrease in blessings, (and it is a cause) of little goodness (in marriage)
On the contrary when the woman and her family distance themselves from that; avoiding extravagance, disobedience and sin, and there is neither inconvenience and overspending nor extravagance in spending, then in this case goodness is accomplished and (receiving) blessings is warranted.
And that is why it has been transmitted in an authentic hadeeth of the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) in Sunan Abee Daawood from Uqbah Ibn Aamir (radiyallaahu-anhu) that the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said:
‘The best of marriages are the easiest ones’
And in another hadeeth, the Prophet (sallal-laahua-layhi-wasallam) said:
‘The women with the most blessing are the ones easiest to provide for.’ [Ahmad: 25120; Nasaa’i; 9274] Therefore the best of women are those whose affair is easy.
And for this reason it is incumbent upon the woman, and upon her father and mother to aim at making things easy, and not to make things difficult in marriage and marriage ceremonies. (And that they aim for) humility and not exaltation and loftiness, and (that they aim for) for gentleness and perseverance and not to be given to overspending and self indulgence; for this affair has its effects on marriage life.
And if there is ease and making things easy, and being distanced from overspending, then this is a call for the beginning of blessings and continuation of good. And if the marriage began with overspending, self indulgence, disobedience and various types of sins, then this is from the greatest causes of deprivation of blessings, and Allaah’s refuge is sought.
SOURCE: http://www.salafitalk.net/st/printthread.cfm?Forum=29&Topic=9966
